I am ugly and my friend is gonna find i have a crush on him? help?

There is this friend that i have a crush on when i first saw him i didn't like him but i fell in love with his personality. Anyway playing around he would say, ewww i don't want to get close to you. or he would say that i was a nerd. but he was playing around or at least it seem. So I got mad and i wouldn't talk to him but he always kept talking to me and he said he was only playing around. Anyway for some reason i developed feelings for him and i like his friendship and i really don't want to lose it. but some of his friends heard me telling someone that i had a crush on the guy that i like. Im positive that my friend is gonna know i like him and the thing is that i am ugly. or at least i think he thinks i am ugly. i really don't want to lose his friendship but it's obvious that he is gonna find out and im sure he only liked me as a friend. i am so depressed. what should i do?